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birgco
Joined: 01 May 2007
Posts: 302
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 Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 3:45 pm Post subject: Nothing to do with architecture, but if you need a smile.... |
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A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the R20000 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for R20; just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers R20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," ! and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
! "NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"
"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."
Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"I’ll be f*cked if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
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ahmeds
Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 128
Location: UAE
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| Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 2:42 am Post subject: |
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very nice ! |
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ahmeds
Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 128
Location: UAE
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 3:59 am Post subject: |
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a guy went for eyes test.When he was told to shut one eye and read alphabetical letters infront of him, he quickly and happily said
" oh ! who wrote my name there?".
the suprised eyes specialist told him, "You don't need to have spectales..."
"Oh yeah?' he happily asked.
"yes, you need to have binoculars instead!" |
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ahmeds
Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 128
Location: UAE
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 4:00 am Post subject: |
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| at least we will laugh for a while... |
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birgco
Joined: 01 May 2007
Posts: 302
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:13 pm Post subject: |
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yes, well said.
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ahmeds
Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 128
Location: UAE
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:47 am Post subject: |
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Meteorologist Joke
Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program. He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year.
That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired.
He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position.
Hopkins wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me." |
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Ed Ziomek
Joined: 07 Jun 2005
Posts: 527
Location: Stamford, Connecticut
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 4:23 pm Post subject: Your opinion...status of America in your part of the world? |
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Ahmeds...
Thanks for the humor.
Now don't get yourself into trouble if you can't answer, but what I am very interested in hearing is your opinion of America, from your part of the world, if in fact you are from the UAE.
And is your view of American government the same as your view on the American people?
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Ed Ziomek |
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ahmeds
Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 128
Location: UAE
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| Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 3:25 am Post subject: |
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I am a KENYAN, by birth, and citizenship . I am just working in UAE, and expect to complete my contract here in UAE by mid April 2008.
Please I am assuring you that I respect America and it's citizens too. The fact that I am a muslim shouldn't be thought that I am aginst America or anyone. Don't take me that way.
I have never been against America and will never be. I like to be a friend to everyone. Or what sort of assuarance do you want from me that will make you agree with me more ? Please be confident and assured that I have nothing to hide.
Anyway I would also like to thank you for asking about my stand, and opinion on America. And I hope you will accept my opionion.
I jsut posted the joke since i like jokes and didn;t mean to cause any disturbance or show arogancy or anything pertaining to that. If i made any mistake on that (joke) please I ask you and everyone to forgive me.
Thanks
Ahmeds |
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Ed Ziomek
Joined: 07 Jun 2005
Posts: 527
Location: Stamford, Connecticut
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| Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 7:50 am Post subject: No offense at all... |
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Ahmeds...no offense at all.
But I just learned there are 40 ethnic tribes in Kenya, anything you can tell us about your country?
How many languages are spoken in Kenya? One of the amazing features of Africa is that after all this time, there might not be a single national language of a country besides English.
Is that true for Kenya?
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Ed Ziomek |
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ahmeds
Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Posts: 128
Location: UAE
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| Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 11:21 am Post subject: |
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Kenya consists of many tribes, thus almost 40 or around that languages are there. However, English is either first or second to widely Known Swahili language. These two English & Swahili are considered as national languages.I speak both Swahili and English very well.
Kenay is an agricultural country, and also is a good tourist destination. We have good and famous national parks, ie Amboseli, Maasai Mara, Tsavo..etc.
Next week our country is going for elections, I hope it will be a peaceful one. I am not a politician but would like to see our country grow economically and socialy.
Peolpe in Kenya are socail and we live in peace and harmony despite being from different tribes and speak different languages. |
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birgco
Joined: 01 May 2007
Posts: 302
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 5:32 am Post subject: |
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ahmeds,
I think it is remarkable that we can exchange information, ideas and conversations with people from around the world. It's important that we learn from each other to increase our understanding of other cultures, religions, nationalities, etc.
Thank you for sharing with us. |
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